Saturday, March 28, 2009

Greetings from my new lair...




Well, I have arrived at my new home and I've been busy surveying the premises. Admittedly it's been hard, as I've discovered a major setback in my plan to flood the world with my spawn. While at the shelter prison, they knocked me out and harvested my reproductive organs. Dirty sons of bitches. Injected me with sodium pentothal and pulled me out of my bed before I could retrieve the shank I had fashioned out of a squeaky toy left behind by my last cellmate, Mr. Tickles. But, alas, their fat faces faded out in a haze before I could retaliate.

I am still under the weather from the premature and savage abduction of my womb. Which, off topic, I think it's interesting that humans have no problem de-sexing the ranks of our army, when they are completely incapable of raising their own filthy offspring. Oh how the world will be different when it's run by my canine brothers.....

Despite this permanent setback, I am still confident with my charming looks and floppy mismatched ears this new mark will learn to trust me quickly.

PS. "Girl" , formerly known as "master" has decided to replace my old name Thelma, which was given to me by my last host human. BTW: We won't call her "master" anymore, we know who's going to be in control of the situation. I digress, "Girl" has decided to call me Penelope, or Penny for short. Hence the title of the blog, Penny's Mightier, a nod to one of the few humans I could respect for his literary prose, Edward Bulwer-Lytton. Of course, I can only admit my respect for him, because he's dead.

Farewell for now. Need to take inventory of Girl's cleaning supplies.

Yours truly,

Penny

No comments:

Post a Comment