Naptime...

Oh hi there. Pardon me, I am just sneaking in a few winks while Girl is at work. Normally I would spend my alone time estimating the latitudinal and longitudinal coordinates of Gwyneth Paltrow's, Carrot Top's and Paris Hilton's houses for my rocket launcher project. Or perfecting my version of the twenty-dollar bill, so I can flood US banks with counterfeit money and collapse your sad economy even further.

But, I didn't get any rest last night. Girl kept kicking me in her sleep and was mumbling about being chased by a pack of rabid wolves. I am pleased that my power of persuasion is conjuring fear in her collective subconscious and that I am progressing in my plot to degrade her mental capacities. 

But said progress is doing nothing for my REM cycle.

While I am completely capable of taking over this sad excuse for a "modern" civilization, I do need my beauty sleep.

And while we're on the topic, I want to clear up a common misconception. Dogs are so funny when they sleep aren't they? When they move their feet like they're running after a squirrel or rabbit and then let out a muffled bark? 

Humans love this. They even videotape this and post it on youtube. Teehee.

Well, if you could ask any dog, they'd say they're certainly not chasing after a fuzzy bunny rabbit in their dreams. They are actually dreaming of a not too far off day we Canines call "Dogmageddon". Corny portmanteau I know, but we like to use this human-esque title to reference the day when we will finally rain hell on the human race.

So the next time you see Fluffy or Mr. Mookie twitching their feet in their sleep, know they're actually dreaming of their participation in this day that all dogs look forward to. The day where humans flee from pups of all shapes and sizes and our canine brethren can finally take hold over the land that was originally ours.

But for now, I recommend you let sleeping dogs lie.